Experts Weigh in: Taylor Swift 's Ultimatum to Selena Gomez Concerning Justin Bieber Called a Controlling and Dicey Move

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By Annie Dee | April 22, 2014 3:46 PM EST

Taylor Swift might think she has done right serving Selena Gomez an ultimatum to either break things off with Justin Bieber or destroy their friendship, but experts are now weighing in that what the "Red" Singer did is not only a big overstepping of boundaries, it is also a very controlling and dicey move. No wonder Selena Gomez got pissed and choose to stay away, and became fast friends with Kendall Jenner.

According to Hollywood Life, even though Selena Gomez did not make friends with Kendall Jenner just to spite Taylor Swift, she did this because she could not care less about the latter. Selena Gomez just had it with the older singer's controlling behavior and for throwing their friendship just like that when she needed her the most.  According to the news magazine, "She's letting Taylor know that she's not going to be controlled anymore."

According to Dr. Gilda Carle, "30-Second Therapist" for the Today show, what Taylor Swift did was not right either. While it may be of the best intentions, she simply was not in the correct place to serve Selena Gomez an ultimatum. "Good, mature friendship is based on providing each other with support and caring. A friend can always voice her feelings about something but to give an ultimatum - even if it's in Selena's 'best interests' - is controlling," explains the expert.

"A lot of people don't love their friends' spouses, but they are there for their friends, despite their own feelings," Dr. Gilda added.

Another psychologist weighed in on the issue and points an accusing finger at Taylor Swift for destroying a really good friendship."She should have just stayed out of it and supported whatever choice Selena made. It's not like Justin was abusing her [like the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing]. Taylor just doesn't like Justin,"  psychologist Cooper Lawrence claimed, who is also the author of The Cult of Celebrity. "Well, if Taylor doesn't like Justin, then she just doesn't have to date him - Selena does. I say, butt out."

However, experts are not necessarily saying reconciliation will never again. The ball is certainly in Swift's court now. "Don't throw your friendship away," advises Cooper to Taylor Swift. "You need each other more than you realize. In your business, it's hard to find real friends and that's what you were."

Because Taylor Swift is older by three years, she should be acting more like the big sister that she said she is for Selena Gomez.

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