It was time to “wake up” for Adam Boland and share his inner fears. The Executive Producer of Network 10’s newly launched, “Wake Up” wanted to give new perspective on the impact of depression and bipolar disorder as he claims he’s ready to be back to work.
For two weeks, Boland revealed that he was suffering from depression. He was diagnosed for bipolar disorder in 2007 but the veteran producer pointed out that the darkness he was in for 14 days was nothing like that had ever happened to him years back.
Published in The Hoopla, Boland recalled that he took medicine back then but decided to stop medication as it affected his creativity behind the camera.
"In hindsight, I know now that was the wrong decision. The breakdown I suffered last month was worse than anything I'd experienced," Boland said.
The darkness he described during those two weeks cut across his mood swings; the trip to the hospital and the need to stay confined; the sleepless nights; the “waking up” from the dark and the guilt that goes with it.
The mood swings Boland was either crying, or rambling. He was sometimes feeling in fit of anger and rage. The good thing when these moods hit him - - he was not alone. He said he was with his partner who had seen it all.
"I was at home, hiding behind a couch in a foetal position. My then-partner had seen enough. The constant mood swings had taken their toll. It was time to seek help,” Boland said.
“When I wasn't rambling, I was crying."
The trip to the hospital The set of moods he was in would be too much for Boland that it was decided he needed to go to the hospital. The mental breakdown, he noted was too much that it involved not only the one he loves but also the authorities trained to address his problem.
"It involved police, an ambulance and time confined to a ward that I never want to see again," Boland said as he described the extent of the breakdown.
He recalled the night the paramedics came to rescue him from pain and senseless episodes that hit him.
He wrote, "That night, the paramedics did what they could to calm me down. It wasn't their fault, but some of their actions backfired. By the time we reached hospital, the bright lights were hurting my head and I had no sense of where I was or why."
The sleepless nights and days The initial medication did not prepare Boland for the days to come. Though he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2007, he reiterated that his recent mental break down that forced him to leave work twice in one month, saw anxiety attacks to a degree.
"The anxiety attacks were daily - in fact, sometimes hourly. They were also exhausting - but sleep wasn't an option," Boland said in his article.
The guilt He fought the mental breakdown. He left work twice - - one week after the launch of Network 10’s “Wake Up” in late November 2013 the first time and shortly after that for two weeks.
He was the brain of the newly launched show and he noted that he could not feel any worse to see how it had turned out.
He stressed, "This happened at the precise time my show needed its leader. My partner tried his best to keep me away from social media and wayward headlines.”
But he knew he could not keep a blind eye and Boland said he would scream feeling the need to be at work.
“When I did see them, I felt a deep sense of guilt. I would scream 'I need to be at work' before again landing on the floor. I didn't feel safe anywhere. I would move from the couch to the bed to the floor and then back again,” Boland pointed out.
A Survivor and being ready Weeks have passed. Boland followed everything by the book his consultant, Professor Gordon Parker of the Black Dog Institute had prescribed that will allow him fight mental illness.
Boland said that he is no longer in the dark.
"I'm no longer scared. I'm no longer down. I feel "normal" and am keen to return to work next week,” Boland said.
"I have a clear head about where I want to take the show (more newsy, for those interested) and most of all, I again have perspective."
Adam Boland is an Australian television producer and director. He is best known for his work as executive producer for Channel Seven’s “Sunrise,” considered as the most-watched morning show Down Under.
After leaving Seven in Feb. 2013, Boland is now affiliated with Network Ten and its newly launched morning show, “Wake Up.”
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Credit: YouTube/Adam Boland
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