It’s been just over one year since the birth of Beyoncé’s first child, Blue Ivy Carter, and the notoriously private singer is finally opening up about her painful experiences trying to conceive, including a miscarriage she suffered two years ago.
The loss was first revealed by Beyoncé’s husband Jay Z, who mentioned the highly personal incident in a track called “Glory,” which he released shortly after the birth of his daughter. But Beyoncé has been silent on the issue, until now.
In an HBO documentary about her life, titled “Life is But a Dream,” Beyoncé spoke candidly for the first time about the grieving process she went through when she miscarried before finally giving birth to Blue Ivy.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," she said in the documentary. "And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."
"I picked out names. I envisioned what my child would look like...I was feeling very maternal," Beyoncé said, before explaining that in the early stages of her pregnancy something went amiss. It was only at a routine doctor’s visit that Beyoncé found out she had lost the baby.
"I flew back to New York to get my checkup—and no heartbeat,” she said. “Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”
To cope with the mourning process, Beyoncé said she threw herself into music and composing.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life. And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album," she said, without specifying which song had been about the experience or whether it had been included in the album. "And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
Beyoncé is schedule to perform at halftime at the Super Bowl this Sunday.
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