‘Queen Elizabeth’ Writes Acceptance Letter to President Obama
By Hannah Osborne | November 9, 2012 2:58 AM EST
The 'Queen' has written to President Obama to accept his application to become US president for four more years.
In the letter, posted on the spoof @Queen_UK Twitter account and published on MSN, the Queen says she met the other candidate, Twit Romney, and has decided Obama may remain president until 2016 - or until American independence is revoked.
The letter says: "The DoE has written to your opponent, Twit Romney, to express our commiserations. [Actually, to be quite honest, he has sent him a text saying "loser", but you get one's meaning.]
"Do try and go gently with him for a while, the poor chap seems very upset that he won't have the opportunity to start all sorts of wars. One has it on good authority that he'd bought the army face paint and everything.
"Mr Cameron [that's the British Prime Minister] has asked one to express his congratulations on your second term and to say how much he is looking forward to working for/with you over the coming years.
"Mr Clegg [Mr Cameron's work experience intern] has offered to pop over and form a coalition if you find yourself having any trouble with the House of Representatives."
The 'Queen' also says she will be in touch to sort out Obama's key performance indicators but adds that there are some problems that need addressing immediately, including the use of 'American' English.
"There really is no such thing as American English. There is The Queen's English and there are mistakes," she wrote.
She also offers Ireland for a "very good price", but adds that Obama would need to collect it himself.
The letter ends: "One doesn't have to tell you that we live in challenging times. It will take our resolve, our courage and our unity to prevail, but one has every confidence that, working together, we will prevent Simon Cowell from making any more TV talent shows."
Obama and the real Queen Elizabeth II met for the first time in 2009 at Buckingham Palace after he was sworn into office.
To contact the editor, e-mail:
Most Popular Slideshows
- Taylor Swift Named Forbes' Second Highest Paid Country Musician [PHOTOS]
- Forever Lost: Indescribable Anguish for Malaysia Airlines MH17 Families, Remains of Some Victims May Never Be Found (PHOTOS)
- Celebrities Who Got Pregnant Using IVF: Busting the Myths About IVF
- PageSix: Beyonce & Jay Z Union is Not About Love, All About Business & the Brand
Join the Conversation
- Australia Asked National Media to Suppress Multi-National Corruption Case: WikiLeaks
- U.S. ‘Defends’ Israel for ‘Disgraceful’ Attack on UN School in Gaza that Killed 15
- Gold in China: 127-Tonne Gold Reserves Tapped in Xinjiang
- MH17: Separatist Soldier Holds Aussie Reporter at Gun Point
- NSW Braces for Severe Weather Condition
- Freshly Leaked Apple iPad Air 2 Cases Confirm Touch ID Sensor; Release Date, Limited Specs and Price Listed
- Moto X Android 4.4.4 KitKat Update Guide: Schedule and How to Install
- Top 4 Reasons Why iPhone 6 Will Hit Big Soon After its Sept 2014 Release Date
- Top Surprising Features Of iOS 8
- Twin Malaysia Airlines MH370, MH17 Aviation Disasters Create Phobia Among Travellers
- OnePlus One vs. Moto X+1 – Early Specifications, Release Date and Price Faceoff
- 2014 Ebola Outbreak: ‘Out of control… and Can Get Worse'; Asky Airline Stops Flying to Liberia, Sierra Leone; Liberia Closes Schools